Please some positive thinking

I have so much to work to do for tomorrow and I am procrastinating because I am thinking about food.
I really hate the power that food has over me. I wish to stop eating so I don't have to worry about purging!
Please give me the strength the not eat or at least not over eat!

Gah! Thats all I have to say and I just don't know. Like silence me already...
Bleck!

I have gained weight after this week...I am not okay with that but I always have more time to lose it.
This is so dumb because you know I want to be healthy! I really really want to be rid of this but I am just constantly struggling with the healthy thoughts and the negative thoughts!

Things are looking up with the roomies though because I have talked to them both and I am still friends with one of them and then I told the other one that we have always been a toxic relationship.
She took it well.
I should be moving out of my room soon though because I still cannot really be comfortable in here because although I really don't want to be friends with her I don't really believe I got that point across. I think I gave her hope. There is no hope!

I feel like I have been silenced...
I have. Where has the brave girl that I knew gone?!?!

I want to get better
I want to lose weight

some days the latter of the two win...

Positive thoughts though...
I have not lost two friends but only one and on my own terms
I will be moving out soon
School will be ending really soon
Summer is just around the corner!

One day I will say goodbye to ED!